Happy Anniversary!

Tomorrow, P.C. and I will celebrate our three-year wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful wedding--the two of us went to Las Vegas and got married by the local marriage clerk. (No Elvis wedding chapel for us--we just wanted to get married without the frills of a wedding.) It was very special. (Above is our first picture as husband and wife. You can see the reflection of the woman who married us. I think the photographer was the security guard who served as our witness.)

One of the great things about P.C. is that he really is a "what you see is what you get" person. He doesn't pretend to be anything he isn't. If you ask for his opinion, you'd better be ready for it, because he tells it like it is--but always in the kindest way possible. And his loyalty is so admirable. I know he's on my side and trying to do the best he can for his family. I feel blessed to have him in my corner. And he is a terrific father to Megan, too.

And when it comes right down to it, I just plain love the guy. He's a good person and a great friend, and there's no one I'd rather spend my life with. He's taught me that marriage is about loving and trusting and caring and wanting to have the best relationship possible. And that every day isn't perfect, but it doesn't mean we're doomed--it just means we have to make it better for the next day. (Believe me, this was hard to get used to, having had a previous marriage where my ex-husband ran away when he just didn't feel like working at being married anymore. The concept of "working things out," as obvious as it may seem, was totally foreign to me.)

Thank you, P., for being a wonderful husband. And a fine person. I love you very, very much.

Here's to many more years of health and happiness!

21 Weeks Old!

Here is a picture of Megan at 20 weeks, 5 days--close enough to 21 weeks, don't you think?

You'll note she is wearing a stunning Christmas ensemble, courtesy of "Gram" Shaw. This little girl is certainly going to clean up the presents at Hanukkah and Christmas...a definite benefit of being born into a family that celebrates both!

Thankfully, Megan's cold is almost gone. Now she's teething! Well, at least she likes the taste of baby Tylenol...

20 Weeks Old--and What a Week!

Megan turned 20 weeks old on Thursday. It's been a challenging week, but still one I wouldn't trade for anything!

As you may know, Megan had an ear infection and pink eye two weeks ago, and P.C. got the pink eye and I got the ear infection. This week, I developed a cough, a fever and pink eye.

Luckily, P.C.'s mom watched Megan for two nights so I could get some rest. It was the oddest thing, though--for months I've been saying that all I want is a night to myself so I could get some real rest, and this time, not only was I not able to rest well because of my cough, but I MISSED MEGAN TERRIBLY. I wasn't surprised that I missed her, but I WAS surprised at how much I wanted her around, even though it would mean less sleep. Don't get me wrong--I was delighted to get some time to myself--but I did miss my little girl.

Well, be careful what you wish for! Megan woke up on Thursday morning with pink eye again, and when I took her to the doctor's she had another ear infection! I think (*knock wood*) we're on the mend now, and we'll have next week to recover before it's back to work and daycare.

But the thing I learned this week? That even with runny eyes and a stuffy nose, my sweet little girl still lights up my heart.

Heads Up!

The picture isn't great--taken with my camera phone--but you get the idea. Megan pushed up today for the first time! This is a big deal--she absolutely hates "tummy time," and a lot of times when babies resist playing on their stomachs they are slow to do a push up. But today she did it! You go, girl!

By the way, check out the terrific blanket that cousin Stephanie made for Megan. Cute, huh?

19 Weeks Old!

Megan turned 19 weeks old yesterday.

Today, we went for her 4-month checkup. She got four immunizations (ick!). The doctor said she's right on target. She weighs 13 pounds, 6 ounces and is 25 inches long. She's in the 49th percentile for weight and the 79th for height. So she's long and lean (Daddy's hoping this means she'll be a volleyball player...). The doctor wants me to wait until six months to start solid food, which is fine. Her head control is good and her ears and eyes are cleared up. (Thank goodness, although I know we'll see a few more mild illnesses, thanks to those dirty kids in daycare! My kid is totally germ-free, of course! :-) )

Have a great weekend!

The 18-Week Picture (a little late)

Because Megan was sick last week, I forgot to post her 18-week picture. Not bad for a kid with an ear infection and pink eye, eh?

Thankfully, Megan is feeling better this week!

I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with this weekly photo thing forever, but it is neat to see how she's growing. For example, below is a picture of her at 8 weeks. Big difference! As time goes on, she won't change as much week-to-week, but it sure is fun to look back.

How Long Do You Want to be Loved? (Or, Those Darn Dixie Chicks Again!)

Sometimes when I look at Megan, I just can't believe she's ours. I can't even describe what it feels like to have a child look at you and really, really LOOK at you and trust you and love you, even though she's too young to know what any of that means. I keep coming back to the chorus of the Dixie Chicks' song, "Lullaby":

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough, is forever enough

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough

Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I just can't imagine an hour without thinking of Megan. Even when I'm completely worn out, I'm so in love with her. She is a miracle and a blessing.

(I'll have to keep this post in mind when I'm up at 2 a.m. with her crying. Or when she's 14 and telling me how much she hates me. :-) )

Did you see this coming?

Well, Megan is better, but P.C. and I are sick. Yuck. Hopefully Megan will continue her upswing and she can go to day care tomorrow, and P.C. and I can have a lovely date at the doctor's office. Nice.

It is really hard being a mom when you're sick, when all you want to do is lay around all day and conserve your energy. And my voice is going, so it's hard to soothe Megan when I sound like my vocal chords are being scratched with sandpaper. Just another challenge of being a mommy...

And let's not forget that this will be the fifth day of work I will miss in a row. Oy...

Happy Hanukkah! Plus, the most pathetic holiday pictures ever!

Last night was the first night of Hanukkah, and poor Megan was feeling icky with her cold and her ear infection. Combine that with the fact that she can't sit up by herself yet, and you have the makings of a really pathetic "First Hanukkah" picture--Megan, in her car seat, on the kitchen floor, next to the baseball menorah. (Yes, we own a baseball menorah.)

To make things worse, I also took a picture of Pauley with the menorah.

Happy Hanukkah, everyone!

Well, it had to happen sometime...

Megan has her first ear infection. The wierd thing is, I had no reason to suspect it--she's had a cold for awhile but nothing else. Then, for some reason, I felt like I needed to check her temperature last night. Bingo! A fever. She didn't have fever this morning, but I decided to go to the doctor just to check her out. Bingo! An ear infection. And the doctor said we caught it just in time. Mother's intuition is really, really wild.

Poor little puddin' pie--she's worn out and sleeping. Just gave her the first dose of antibiotic--we'll see how she does!

Four Months Old!

Megan turned four months old today. We celebrated by spending the day at Aunt Nancy's house.

We are very lucky to live so close to Aunt Nancy, Uncle Matt and Miriam. Besides being so amazingly helpful with the baby (and Pauley too!), they are, most importantly, great people. If they weren't my relatives, I'd pick them to be my friends for sure. And you can't say that about all (or most!) of your relatives, now can you? We are very, very lucky.

Fun Pics

Here are some pictures from the past few days..thought you might like to see them!

I'm back at work full time tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting into a routine...right now I just need to get through a few days to feel a little more normal. I'm going to miss her terribly, but hopefully that means I'll be a terrific mom when we ARE together.

Megan with cousin Miri
Incognito!
Megan and Daddy (look how well she holds a rattle!)
Sweetie Pie

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! I have so much to be thankful for this year: Megan, P.C., family and friends. May we each take time each day to count all of our blessings.

Here's a picture of my little turkey as she celebrates both Thanksgiving and her 16-week birthday.

Coming Full Circle

On Friday, almost a year to the date that I started taking medication to start the in-vitro process, Megan and I visited the Huntington Reproductive Center--the fertility clinic--so she could meet the people who helped bring her into this world. It was a really cool thing. Everyone oohed and aahed over her. She cried--reminding all of them why they aren't in pediatrics!--and it was a very, very touching experience.

The guy in the picture at right is Dr. Boostanfar, the doctor who made it all happen. Of course, P.C. and I helped too, but the good Doctor gets most of the credit. And a special shout out to Patti, the nurse at far right, who called me to tell me I was pregnant. (As a side note, when she called, I was driving on the 405 and was so totally stunned by the good news that I started crying and shouted, "Are you fu**ing kidding me?")

All in all, a terrific visit.

A Message for My 37th Birthday

(To read my Message for My 36th birthday, click here. I really have kept my worrying to a minimum over the past year ... honestly ...)



Approximately one year ago, I was standing at the pharmacy, getting my $1,500 worth of medication to begin our second in-vitro process. Wow, what a year it has been!



I can't believe how much my life has changed. In just 365 days, I've gone from wanting a baby to having one, from lazy weekends to sleep-deprived nights, from waiting for a miracle to getting the most precious miracle of all.

I have to say that the most wonderful thing about the last year (besides Megan, of course) has been the support of some amazing people in my life. The people I work with are amazing and have been so great throughout my quest for a baby. My sister and her family are totally fabulous. In fact, as I write this, Nancy is hanging out at my house--her gift to me is some babysitting so I can get stuff done! My mom, as usual, has been full of wonderful advice and support. My team of "seasoned" moms--Missy, Lili, Sharon, Kristen, Mel and others--has been so valuable when fielding my tons of questions about parenthood. My mother-in-law has been a great resource for me as well. Sweet Melissa, my carpool partner, spent countless hours listening to me ramble on and on about my pregnancy. My online friends have been wonderful (special shout out to Maya's Granny!). And P.C. Oh, sweet P.C. He has been unbelievable.

I know I'm probably leaving a lot of folks out here, but you know who you are. And thank you.

Last year on my birthday, my friend Marilyn did a tarot reading for me. The year was summed up as follows:

You will be a much stronger person in your 36th year. You have journeyed much this year, and you will find yourself stronger, better, and more in control of your life because of your newfound strength and maturity. Do not shy away from any struggles or challenges that you may encounter in the previous months. Although at the time, you may feel you have your share of struggles, keep in mind that everything you are asked to do in this life has a purpose, and is part of your Divine plan for your life. Welcome all that comes to you with open arms, and know that whatever fate or destiny throws your way, you have the strength to accept it, and deal with it. You will also find yourself making lots of plans for the future, and you will look forward to seeing your ships come in in coming years.

What a journey it has been! As I said in my message last year, “I hope you will count your blessings when you can. I know I will try to do that more … Here’s to another year of “’blessed days.’”

3 Months!

Megan turned three months old today.

Ah, three months...according to the books I've read, this is the point at which you have to really start paying attention to how your baby can "play" you. Case in point: this afternoon, when she was super-sleepy but cried in her crib unless I picked her up, at which point she quieted right down. So rather than continuing to pick her up, I left for five minutes, came back and reassured her by gently patting her, and left again. This continued for about an hour and a half, at which point she had to eat again. As I write this, we're trying again, and she seems to have fallen asleep for a late afternoon nap--her first nap today. She's a tired baby...

Actually, I take that back...she's crying again. Gotta run!

Happy Halloween!

12 Weeks

Megan turned 12 weeks old yesterday. The picture at right was taken while she was on the changing table.

This past week, Megan giggled for the first time. SO wonderful. Nothing makes my heart melt quite like a giggle and a smile from her.

Tonight I have to go to an event for work, so Gram (P.C.'s mom) will be watching the baby until P.C. gets off work, then Daddy is in charge! This is his first time and I know he'll do well. He'll probably be thrilled to be with Megan without me watching his every step. :-)

Megan is 11 Weeks Old!

Megan turned 11 weeks old today. It's so hard to believe! And I go back to work a month from today. Oy.

Megan is starting to find her thumb when she's in the crib. I'm really glad about that--self-soothing is a good thing. Despite the picture at right, she's not a big-time pacifier baby--just to soothe herself to sleep. I was a thumb sucker as a kid, so it does me proud to see her on the verge of getting the hang of it.

Learning the Ropes...Sort Of

One thing I'm learning about parenting is that no book can truly tell you how to handle your child. Oh, sure, you can get some ideas, but the bottom line is that your child is an individual whose feelings and preferences are changing constantly, and the only thing you can do is try and figure them out and just roll with it.

Case in point: sleeping. Sometimes Megan likes to suck on a pacifier to go to sleep and sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes I lay her down and she screams, but if I pick her up and hold her for a minute, I can lay her right back down again and she is fine. Or sometimes not. Sometimes she can sleep while I walk her around in the Baby Bjorn, and sometimes she screams--or sleeps, screams, then sleeps again. And sometimes she wants to nap in my lap, rejecting the swing or crib, but sometimes she'll reject the swing or crib, then lay in my lap for a few minutes, then I can easily put her in the swing or crib. Or not!

I don't think I could teach anyone the "definitive" way to get Megan to sleep, because there isn't one. It's just a matter of having lots of tricks in the arsenal and using each of them until she goes down for the count. And sometimes it's frustrating, but it's never boring, that's for sure!

So while there are lots of books about raising babies, as my pediatrician says, you baby is its own book, and sometimes you have to read very carefully to figure out each chapter.

Norm

Have you ever had someone come into your life and you felt you had known them all along?

My mom has been seeing a man named Norm for the past few years. He has really been such a blessing for her--but a side benefit is that he has been such a blessing for the rest of us as well. Here are a few reasons why.

**Norm has this amazing ability to center people. If I'm going off on a tangent about something and not really focusing on what's important, Norm has the ability to bring me back down to earth. (I'm assuming he does the same for my mother!)

**On a completely superficial note, Norm can fix anything. Not only that, but he is a very, very thoughtful "fixer." And he's very generous with his time. When he and Mom come to visit, he offers to do little jobs around the house for us--jobs that would cost a lot of money to fix if we had to hire someone! And if he needs to go to Lowe's for the thousandth time, he doesn't fuss at all--a trait I don't have, sadly...

**Norm has very stong hands. You can look at them and see that they are powerful. Yet when he held Megan for the first time (when she was about three weeks old in the photo above), those strong hands caressed my baby in a calming and loving way. Norm's strong hands have a very gentle touch. (And towards the end of my pregnancy, they gave me one heck of a good neck rub!) You can tell a lot about someone's character by the way they hold a baby. Norm is a very gentle soul.

**Norm really digs my mother. You can tell by the way he looks at her and talks to her. They are so adorable together--like they've been together for decades instead of just a few years. My mom deserves someone terrific and they were really blessed to find one another.

**Norm has a very soft heart and has a real sense of family. He is very devoted to his own children and grandchildren, yet he is also very devoted to my mother's family. He takes nature walks with my niece and points out interesting things to her. He visits my 92-year-old grandmother even (especially) when my mom is out of town. Just as he goes to his grandchildren's events with a video camera, he attended my niece's graduation from second grade and videotaped with enthusiasm.

Even though he and my mom aren't married, I consider him an honorary grandfather to Megan. I call him "Grandpa Norm." And we are so lucky to have him in our lives.

10 Weeks!

Megan turned 10 weeks old yesterday. We're still mastering the art of sleeping through the night, so we're still very tired, but life is sweet. Very sweet.

Megan is smiling a lot--so much so that she often looks up at me while she is eating, smiles, and falls off my nipple. It's pretty funny! She's also laughing a little bit, which I love.

Go Bruins! Plus, Icky Vaccinations and Projectile Poop!

Megan went to her first UCLA event on Sunday. Proud papa had a nametag made for her. So adorable! She was a real trooper and let the world ooh and aah over her. Of course, she also got to meet cute college baseball players--a couple of whom will probably be famous major leaguers one day, so she probably wouldn't have complained even if she could have. :-)


She went to the doctor yesterday for her two-month checkup. 10 pounds, 12 ounces. The doctor said she's really catching up with her weight. She also got four vaccinations. Ick. She did well, had a fever last night but is okay today.

Last night, after I took her temperature (rectally), I didn't get the diaper on fast enough and Megan projectile pooped all over the wall and the couch. I estimate that she shot her poop about six feet. Of course, the Guinness World Record people will be here this afternoon... Thank goodness Nancy and Miri were here to witness it--and Nancy graciously helped clean it up. That's a good aunt, don't you think? It was disgusting--put pretty darn funny, too. I told Miri that this will be one of those stories that will embarrass Megan when she is older.

Muscle Beach

Here's Megan on her 9-week birthday, showing off her huge muscles...

What a big girl!

Megan turned two months old yesterday. Can you believe it’s been two months already? Wow!!!!! Megan is smiling all the time now (well, when she isn’t crying about something), and she has finally moved out of her newborn clothes and into 3-month ones. We’re very proud of our little one!!!!!! She's sleeping about 4 hours straight through the night. Not all the way yet, but I'll take it.

My big challenge will be to get on a plane with her to fly to Baltimore at the end of the month. Any tips are MOST welcomed!!!!

Megan at 8 Weeks

Megan turned eight weeks old today. Our days are spent nursing and killing time until it's time to nurse again! No, really. We are going out everyday for an "adventure." Today we met Aunt Nancy for lunch and a visit. Yesterday we went to Gymboree and the mall. Tomorrow Megan gets to watch Mommy get her eyebrows waxed, then it's off to Burbank for lunch with Aunt Lili and little Frankie. And almost everyday, we take a nice walk in the California sun. But we really are slaves to the breast milk. That's just the way it is, I suppose! Some day I'll miss it...right?

I am feeling very mixed about going back to work in seven weeks. On the one hand, I'm looking forward to adult activities. On the other hand, the thought of missing a second of Megan's life makes me sad. But we'll figure it all out as we go along! And we'll make the most of the time we are together.

Smiley Baby!

Megan started smiling this week! Not because of gas, but obviously because her mother is so charming.

:-)

Anyway, here's a picture of her. Ain't she a cutie?

Where do the days go?

One thing I'm learning is that motherhood is the ultimate time-sucker. Our days and nights are based on watching the clock tick away until the next feeding. It's amazing, really--it seems like I'm feeding her every other minute, when really a few hours are going by. I can't believe it's been almost seven weeks already. She's just about ready to move into the next size of diapers! *sigh*

Megan tried Gymboree last week and totally loved it. She liked the brightly colored balls and the Gymbo puppet. It was a lot of fun for both of us. We're trying to go somewhere every day--today it's to the breastfeeding support group (really more like a new mommy support group) and then to the mall, where they have the most amazing "family room" for breastfeeding mothers. Thank goodness--I'm not too comfortable breastfeeding in public.

Here's a picture of Megan with her new ostrich friend, courtesy of Aunt Missy and Uncle Hans!

Megan Is One Month Old!

Megan is one month old today. We're tired and trying to find a routine, but we're so in love with this little bundle--even when she's screaming. (Okay, there are times when I think I'm totally losing my mind, but isn't that part of being a mother?)

What a Surprise...No Time to Write!

I haven't blogged in a long time. Not surprising. I'm a little busy. And goodness knows I have a TON of thank you notes to write--so if you're waiting for one, you'll be waiting for a little while longer! (But I'm very grateful for your thoughtfulness.)

All is well here. Sleep is at a minimum, but I'm so, so delighted by Megan. She is such a gem.

Mom has been here for a few weeks and she's been so wonderful to have around--it will be hard to see her leave next week.

Here are two new pictures. One is of my niece Miriam holding her new cousin. The other is of Megan channeling Anne Geddes. Can you see why I'm so totally in love?

First Bath

Megan went back to the doctor last week and is doing well--we're going back for a follow up at the end of the week. We’re now getting used to having her home full time.

Mom and I gave Megan her first bath last week. She actually seemed to like the water, once she stopped yelling from the shock. P.C. and I gave her another bath yesterday with great success!

I’ve also attached a picture of Megan, P.C. and Pauley napping together. (Yes, we were very careful to make sure Megan didn’t roll off the couch.)

Some things I’ve learned about babies:

--Even though little girls pee differently than little boys, they can still pee in a fountain-like manner without a diaper (and can projectile poop, too!).

--Baby burps sound shockingly like grown-man-after-multiple-beer burps.

--Babies WILL, in fact, sit patiently through Rocky I, II, III and IV when they are part of a TV marathon (although they might sleep through a lot of the most important scenes).

--Anyone who thinks “maternity leave” and “vacation” are interchangeable clearly never spent their vacations feeding a hungry baby every two to three hours.

--I completely underestimated how much love I could feel for this little girl.

My Babies

Check out these pictures of Megan and Pauley. Pauley seems to be adjusting fine--although she often looks at me as if to ask, "When is she leaving?" But, on the whole, she's behaving pretty well.

Megan is Home!

We brought Megan back home today. She needs to go back for the doctor for a checkup and bloodwork tomorrow as a precaution,but we are thrilled to have her home.

Another Day Delay

Well, due to a misunderstanding earlier in the week (long story), Megan's arrival home has been delayed until tomorrow. It's fine--nothing has changed about her condition--but it is still frustrating. We want our little girl home! Thankfully, though, she's doing well--and that's the most important thing of all.

In the meantime, take a look at this picture. Can you see the relief on my face at having this little girl in my arms?

By the way, I've been singing some of my "Songs for Spike" to Megan while I've been feeding her. I could be wrong, but I think she recognizes some of them.

What A Week

Megan was readmitted to the hospital with jaundice on Wednesday. She's coming home tomorrow. It's been pretty stressful, not having her here and pumping breast milk and visiting her in the NICU. But, thankfully, we'll be getting her back here soon.

It's amazing how much we miss her around here after only having her home for two days. We're exhausted, but totally in love with her.

Welcome Megan!

Well, it looks like we set a date for Spike's arrival after all!

P.C. and I are overjoyed to announce the arrival of Megan Salkin Shaw to our family. Megan arrived on Thursday, August 2, three weeks early and by c-section, but luckily it wasn’t an emergency—she just ran out of room!

Megan was born at 9:00 a.m., weighed 6 lbs. 4 ounces and was 19 ½ inches long.

I'll write more later, but I wanted to send an update!

Babycenter.com Update: Week 37

We're getting closer! I go back to the doctor tomorrow...hopefully we'll set a date for Spike's birthday!

I'm having some back pain today. I don't know if it's the baby or just the weight on the front of my body taking its toll, but I'm uncomfortable!

On a wonderful note, I had a prenatal massage yesterday, preceded by a pregnancy milk bath. Heavenly.

And, I'm trying to refocus my fears about the c-section into positive visualizations about the whole thing. After all, thinking positively and visualizing a good outcome is one of the ways I got here in the first place, so why not revisit that idea? In any case, it's calmed me down a lot.

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com. I wonder if we'll have a baby Elvis? :-)

How your baby's growing: Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.Your baby weighs a little over 6 pounds and measures between 19 and 20 inches, head to heel. Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.

Unemployment ... and a Fleeting Moment of Panic

My last day of work in the office was Friday. Now I'm working on little projects at home, checking email, and being "on call" in case anyone needs me. I'm hoping it will be a nice transition into not working for about 12 weeks after the baby arrives. It's kind of nice--to have less responsibility and not have to drive 50 miles a day. And things are just going to have to go on without me. Judging from my inbox over the weekend, it will take awhile before people will totally figure things out without me, but that's okay. In the meantime, I'm also trying to take care of some little things that won't be easy to do after the baby's born--getting the oil changed in the car, for example. So there is a lot to do before Spike arrives, but if Spike arrived tomorrow, we'd all be okay.

Meanwhile, I had a moment of panic this evening about the cesarean section and motherhood in general. I know, I know--it will all be okay. But if I didn't have a few fleeting moments of panic, it wouldn't be motherhood, right?

My Child Is Head-Butting Me! Plus, Babycenter.com Update: Week 36

We went to the doctor today to check on Spike. She is definitely breech. In order for her to turn, she'd have to flip backwards about 270 degrees--she's gone forward as far as she can. In fact, she is head-butting the placenta (and me!). I'm not a candidate for a version (the procedure to try and turn the baby) because of my previous uterine surgery (with my "artistically-shaped" uterus) and the fact that an inversion probably wouldn't work because of the position of the baby. So, it looks like we're on the c-section path. We've tentatively talked about sometime between August 15-20, unless I go into labor first. I'm going back next week, and we'll talk it through again then.

I go back to the perinatologist tomorrow for another checkup. I'm pretty sure it's just a procedural thing to take a closer look at the baby and make sure all is well. Tomorrow night is also the last "baby basics" class at the hospital. Then, we wait!

And here's something interesting about how much water you can retain while pregnant: Between my blood pressure check last Thursday and today, I lost six pounds! So that should tell you how swollen I was last week...

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds and is a little under 19 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, that will form the contents of her first bowel movement. At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

Pink Tuna

When I was a little girl, my grandmother--who ate health food before it was en vogue to do so--made "pink tuna" for us to eat. It wasn't a big deal, really--it was just tuna salad with well-grated carrots in it, which made it turn a pinkish color. For years, Bubby sneaked carrots into our tuna salad. When we got older, she confessed her "secret recipe," but it didn't really matter, because we loved everything that Bubby cooked. But it made me laugh that she was like an "undercover cook," making sure we got our vitamins in.

Tonight, in Bubby's honor, I made pink tuna. And I'm sure I'll make it for Spike, too. That's one of those family folklore recipes that will live on!

Bebycenter.com Update: Week 35

It's 3:52 a.m. I'm awake. I know I'm "in training" for motherhood, but can't this be like marathon training, where I get to "taper" (lower my mileage and take it easier) in the couple of weeks before the Big Day? :-)

Tonight we go to the hospital for a tour of the maternity floor. Should be interesting. Then tomorrow it's off to Baby Care Basics class, part two. (For the record, P.C. excelled at giving the baby doll a sponge bath last week. He's really trying hard and doing a great job.)

This week I'm noticing that I have just enough energy to get through the workday and then I get home really tired and uncomfortable. Sort of like the first trimester, only I'm not nauseous and now my belly gets in the way. Last night I had a mini "I can't take this anymore but I'm terrified to have the baby" tantrum. Nice. I'll bet P.C. wishes he could run around the neighborhood screaming. He's been so great--I hope he's taking his frustrations out on the baseballs at work.

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com:

How your baby's growing: Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 pounds plus. Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

How your life's changing: Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn and other gastrointestinal distress. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few.

It's a Fine Line between Feeling Grateful and Feeling Guilty

I had lunch with a friend of mine yesterday, who has 7-month-old twins after three rounds of in-vitro. She asked me how I was feeling, and she told me that at the end of her pregnancy she often felt guilty for feeling lousy, because she felt so grateful for her pregnancy and had spent so much time (not to mention money) on getting to that point.

I can totally relate to that. On the one hand, I am so, so amazingly grateful to be at this point and have, for the most part, really, really enjoyed being pregnant.

On the other hand, I am feeling pretty lousy these days--my wedding band has been temporarily relocated from my finger to the jewelry box because it doesn't fit; I get heartburn whenever I eat, no matter what I eat; My right wrist feels like I have carpal tunnel syndrome because of all the swelling; I'm not sleeping; I'm cranky.

And I'm trying to balance both of those emotions. I do think I feel more grateful than cranky, though. And excited. And terrified. And ready. And not ready. And the list goes on and on.

Me and My Belly

Here's a picture that P.C. took last night of me and my belly at 34 weeks. It makes me laugh. I do have to say that I never thought I would feel beautiful at 8 1/2 months pregnant, but I do!

Spike

The picture at the right is a cropped view of my 33-week ultrasound. Now, it' s really hard to see, but if you look really closely you can see Spike looking upwards.
Look on the line where this text appears and move your eyes to the right.You'll see one eyeball on top of the other eyeball (almost vertical), then slightly to the right you'll see her nose and mouth. It's not easy to see at first, but once you get it, you get it. Ain't she a beauty?

Babycenter.com Update: Week 34

All is well so far this week. The baby is still "head up"--I know this because I can feel her head lodged in my ribs! I'm feeling slightly paranoid about making sure I feel her move during the day, but I've heard that's the normal, worrying pregnant woman thing to do.

Tomorrow P.C. and I start our three-week "baby care basics" class. Swaddling, diapers and infant CPR. Should be interesting. I predict that P.C. will be a champion swaddler! :-)

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com. It feels good to know that, if Spike arrives a little early, she'll almost definitely be okay.

How your baby's growing: Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

Babycenter.com Update: Week 33

Well, I went to the doctor's yesterday. The baby is fine--I got to see her in an ultrasound after many weeks!-- but two things are going on:

1. I have a fibroid in my uterus that will most likely keep the baby from turning, which means I'm probably on a short track to a cesarean section. We'll know more in a few weeks, but that's the doctor's prediction.
2. The umbilical cord is currently resting around the baby's neck. This isn't an emergency, as icky as is sounds, but it does mean that I need to more closely monitor the baby's movements. Wow, there's something I won't worry about....

Tomorrow I go back to the doctor for a blood pressure check.

Here's this week's update from http://www.babycenter.com/:

How your baby's growing: This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

I had no idea my body was public domain...

I was warned about this. Random people coming up to me and touching my belly. People offering their horrifying birth stories. People offering all kinds of perenting advice. But really--people making fat comments?

Yes, I've heard them. "Are you sure you aren't having twins?" "You're HUGE!" "You'll have a really tough time losing that after the baby is born." "Your stomach is huge--and so is your ass!" (No, really, I'm NOT KIDDING.) "Your boobs are HUGE--you're going to go into letters of the alphabet I never even knew existed for bras!"

Okay, here's the thing. However jokingly said, however harmlessly meant, these comments hurt. I have never felt so beautiful in my whole life as I do RIGHT NOW, giving life to this amazing miracle growing in my body. Have I gained weight? Yes. Perhaps a little more thn I'd hoped? Yes. (Name me five women who gained precisely the "right" amount of weight while pregnant!) Have I also enjoyed eating while I've been pregnant? Yes. (And let me tell you, while I do enjoy a sweet or two, I am not gorging on donuts and french fries. For example, for breakfast yesterday I had a bagel with a scrambled egg and a slice of cheese. For lunch, a hummus wrap and some watermelon. For dinner, some tuna salad, carrots and strawberries. So there.)

And really, the bottom line is that it is nobody's damn business if I've gained 25, 30, 35, 40, or 70 pounds. Nobody's. Okay, my doctor's, but she has been fabulous about my weight.

And the breast size thing? Really? Do you want to go there? Talk about an area I have NO CONTROL over.

So, please, don't nag me about it--now or after the baby is born. There's a miracle going on right now--does my extra chin really matter? I really do believe that our bodies hit a natural, comfortable weight when we trust it to do so. And it won't be right away, but I'll find that place again. So butt out, okay?

Babycenter.com Update: Week 32

Went to the doctor's today. All is well! My doctor gave me a small lecture about taking it easy and remembering that I'm pregnant and not Superwoman. I'm trying to take that to heart.

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com:

How your baby's growing: By now, your baby is just shy of 4 pounds and is nearly 17 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

How your life's changing: To accommodate you and your baby's growing needs, your blood volume has increased 40 to 50 percent since you got pregnant. With your uterus pushing up near your diaphragm and crowding your stomach, the consequences may be shortness of breath and heartburn. To help relieve your discomfort, try sleeping propped up with pillows and eating smaller meals more often. You may have lower-back pain as your pregnancy advances. If you do, let your caregiver know right away, particularly if you haven't had back pain before, since it can be a sign of preterm labor. Assuming it's not preterm labor that's ailing you, you can probably blame your growing uterus and hormonal changes for your aching back. Your expanding uterus shifts your center of gravity and stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, changing your posture and putting a strain on your back. Hormonal changes in pregnancy loosen your joints and the ligaments that attach your pelvic bones to your spine. This can make you feel less stable and cause pain when you walk, stand, sit for long periods, roll over in bed, get out of a low chair or the tub, bend, or lift things.

Busy Week

It's been a very busy week around here. Mom and her friend Norm arrived on Tuesday, and there's been a lot of action. Norm did a bunch of things around the house. I picked out a crib. P.C. and I went to our weekend-long childbirth class. My sister threw an amazing shower for me at her house. All in all, a good week. I go to the doctor on Wednesday for a checkup. My blood pressure was a little elevated last week, but hopefully it will behave at this upcoming visit.

Here's a picture of me at just about 32 weeks. Time is flying by...

Babycenter.com Update: Week 31

Mom's coming to town today with her sweet friend Norm, so it's going to be a busy week of crib shopping and doing some baby-preparation things around the house. I'm looking forward to getting some stuff done!

I am feeling very uncomfortable these days--like there isn't enough room inside of me to hold all of the space the baby is taking up! She is DEFINITELY making her presence known!

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com:

How your baby's growing: This week, your baby measures about 16 inches long. He weighs a little over 3 pounds and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Spike, today is your grandmother's birthday. Let me tell you some things that I love about your Poppy:

• First of all, she's called Poppy, in honor of her favorite grandfather ("Pop") and the poppy flower. You've gotta love a woman called Poppy!
• Her loyalty is VERY fierce. She is one of the most giving people on the planet. But if you cross her or her kids, watch out. She will NOT take that lightly. (I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she had a few minutes alone with my ex-husband after he announced he was leaving.)
• Her strength has been tested many, many times, and she goes through adversity with lots of grace. That's very hard to do. I'm not saying she doesn't feel her feelings--she definitely does--but she is able to crawl out from under the wreckage and ultimately survive.
• Throughout my life, no matter how many awful choices I've made and no matter how many "why did you do that?" lectures she's had to give me, I always, ALWAYS knew that she loved me, no matter what. And more often that not, she was right--although I didn't always admit that to her. :-)
• She is constantly evolving as a person. Over the years, her political and social views have changed, and even though we don't always agree on them, I have the highest respect for her for being willing to change.
• She finds her own happiness. After her divorce, she spent a life-changing month in Italy that inspired her to write a book. She doesn't wait around for happiness--she seeks it.
• She is an incredible daughter, looking after her 92-year-old mother and making sure that her life is beautiful and dignified even though she is housebound and physically weak.
• She is a devoted grandmother. My niece Miriam has benefited from the close relationship they share. (And Spike, you might not know it yet, but Poppy adores you too and can't wait to meet you in person!)
• She is truthful. Whether I like it or not, I can be assured that whatever she tells me is the truth.
• I can honestly say that my mother, your Poppy, is one of my very best friends. And that's a really, really big deal. We are truly blessed to have her in our lives.

Happy Birthday, Mom! (And Happy Birthday from Spike, too.)

Grandfathers

Today would be my grandfather Cohen’s 91st birthday. He died 15 years ago after a battle with prostate cancer. (Ironically, he was buried on his 76th birthday.)

We called him “Za” because my sister couldn’t say “Zaydie” (the Yiddish word for grandfather) when she was little. So, Za stuck. (His real name was Nathan.)

And I adored him. I always felt that we had a very special connection. When he was nearing the end of his life, I went home from college regularly to see him. The last time I saw him, he said to me, “Jill, I‘m dying.” And I said, “I know, Za. It’s going to be okay. I love you.” I left him that day knowing that I’d probably never see him alive again, but feeling like it was the best thing for him to pass away—that he needed that peace.

Za was the kind of grandfather that every little girl should have. Yes, indeed, I had him wrapped around my little finger. And I think he liked it that way. I only have the happiest of memories when I think of him. He and my grandmother were married for more than 50 years, and they held hands often. I loved that. I’m not sure if he was the greatest father, but I do know that he was a terrific grandfather.

My other grandfather, Jerry Salkin, died in 1959, when my mom was 17. I never got to meet him, but I feel like I know a lot about him from my mother and grandmother. He and my grandmother, Bubby, had a relatively short but very loving relationship. I pray that people are reunited in heaven, for my Bubby has been waiting a long time for that.

Before I got pregnant, I had two very vivid visions. Za was in both of them, and my grandfather Salkin was in one of them. In the second one, Za handed me my baby. I swear it. It was a totally magical vision, one that I had while at the acupuncturist’s office, trying to relax during one of the treatments. I had been feeling down about going through another in-vitro procedure, especially after the first one hadn’t worked. This vision gave me the energy to try again and believe that it could work. I held onto that vision while giving myself hormone injections, while undergoing procedures, and riding to the doctor’s office. That vision was with me at night when I was trying to quiet my mind and in the morning when I was looking for the strength to think positively.

Both visions confirmed what I had always felt—that my grandfathers had been watching over me. Ironically enough, when we went through this recent (successful!) in-vitro attempt, the embryos were placed inside of me on December 4—the anniversary of my grandfather Salkin’s death. I just don’t think it was a coincidence.

Anyway, happy birthday, Za. And thanks to you and Grandpa Jerry for keeping an eye on us.

Babycenter.com Update: Week 30

Well, the info in “How your life’s changing” definitely confirms what’s been going on with me! Between the lack of sleep, tripping over my own feet and the crying jag that followed, I’m right on target!

I really should buy P.C. the t-shirt I saw that said, “My pregnant wife scares me!”

How your baby's growing: Your baby's a bit more than 15 1/2 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds. A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

How your life's changing: You may be feeling a little tired these days, especially if you're having trouble sleeping. You might also feel clumsier than normal, which is perfectly understandable. Not only are you heavier, but the concentration of weight in your pregnant belly causes a shift in your center of gravity. Plus, thanks to hormonal changes, your ligaments are more lax, so your joints are looser, which may also contribute to your balance being a bit off. Also, this relaxation of your ligaments can actually cause your feet to spread permanently, so you may have to invest in some new shoes in a bigger size.

Remember those mood swings you had earlier in pregnancy? The combination of uncomfortable symptoms and hormonal changes can result in a return of those emotional ups and downs. It's normal to worry about what your labor will be like or whether you'll be a good parent. But if you can't shake the blues or feel increasingly irritable or agitated, talk to your doctor or midwife. You may be among the 1 in 10 expectant women who battle depression during pregnancy. Also let your caregiver know if you're frequently nervous or anxious.

I Swear, I've Completed Three Marathons Without Tripping...

Last night, while taking the dog out for a stroll, I somehow lost my balance and tripped over my own feet. (Actually, I may have tripped UP a curb, but it's unclear.) In any case, I landed on my palms and my right knee, so my belly was uninvolved. But wow, did this shake me up. I started sobbing uncontrollably after I fell. I think I was so relieved that I didn't hit my stomach on the ground that I just started crying. Plus, those hormones of mine might be a TAD out of wack. :-)

So, I was glad to feel the baby kicking last night after I fell, but this morning before I got out of bed...nothing. Driving to work...nothing. Sitting at my desk...nothing...until about 8:30 a.m. P.C., who errs on the side of caution (interesting for a man, eh?) suggested that I call the doctor anyway to make sure all was okay.

The doctor told me to go home, drink a big glass of orange juice, lie down for an hour and count kicks.

For the first 10 minutes, Spike only moved once. Once. Oy! Trying not to panic, I took lots of deep breaths and repeated positive affirmations to myself. Sure enough, that kid kicked it into gear (literally) and gave my 32 kicks in an hour. I called the doctor's office, and they said, "You have quite an active baby!" So, Spike is fine. And I'm relieved.

Ah, yes...nothing like a child aggravating you in utero to remind you of what's to come!

Baseball Season is Over

Well, UCLA's baseball season ended last night in a sad loss to Cal State Fullerton, 2-1. The Bruins played hard and looked good (their pitcher boasted 12 strikeouts!), but it just wasn't enough. So, no trip to the College World Series this year. But UCLA had a great season and went farther in the playoffs than they had in a long time, so this is a very good thing, too. (To read more, click here.)

Of course, in my house, it's a mixed bag. On the one hand, I support P.C. and the team and want them to be as successful as they can be. On the other hand, I'm glad to get my husband back. I'm noticing that I am feeling, in addition to the physical uncomfortableness, a lot of anxiety. I think I'm just getting ready to be a mama. After all, wouldn't you think I was crazy if I wasn't just a LITTLE bit panicked? In any case, it will be nice to have P.C. home for awhile. I really do need his support. There is much to do before Spike makes her debut!

Bebycenter.com Update: Week 29

Week 29 brings more heartburn, back pain and restless/crampy legs. But it also brings more kicking. And it brings us a week closer to meeting this little girl in person!

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com:

How your baby's growing: Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to accommodate his brain — which is busy developing billions of neurons. With this rapid growth, it's no surprise that your baby's nutritional needs reach their peak during this trimester. To keep yourself and him well nourished, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamin C, folic acid, iron, and calcium. (About 200 milligrams of calcium is deposited in your baby's skeleton — which is now hardening — every day.)

15 inches long ... no wonder she keeps getting caught in my ribs!

Songs for Spike, Part VIII: The Final Installment

Here we go … the final three songs on my compilation CDs for Spike.

30. Watershed by Indigo Girls.

Click here to hear this song.

Up on the watershed
Standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony’s your heaviest load
You’ll never fly as the crow flies
Get used to a country mile
When you’re learning to face
The path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while

I find this song pretty inspirational. To me, it’s about taking life as it comes, at your own pace.

Here’s a section that I love:

And there’s always retrospect
(when you’re looking back)
To light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh
You start at the top
Go full circle round
Catch a breeze
Take a spill
But ending up where I started again
Makes me wanna stand still

I do love looking back on my life and seeing how far I’ve come.

After all, five years ago (2002) I was living in Baltimore, having not yet considered the possibility of moving to Los Angeles, dating a series of really wrong men, feeling angry about the way my life was going and wondering if it was going to get any more satisfying. I was literally catching breezes, taking spills, and ending up right where I started again!

If I look five years before that (1997), my life was even MORE different—I was married to my first husband and figuring I’d be spending my life as a housewife in Winchester, Virginia!

Now, my life is so unbelievably different. Thank goodness I can look back and laugh. I promise you, Spike, that there will be days that will be so tough that you’ll think the world is ending. These are the days that will make you laugh later on. I promise. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true.

31. Wildflowers by Tom Petty. This blog is based on the lyrics to that song. (Click here to hear the song. Don’t ask me about the video! I just found it randomly.)

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free

Tom Petty said that, when he wrote this song, he just sat down and played it without writing it—the words and music just flowed. That’s what I want for you, Spike, to always be able to run among the wildflowers—somewhere you feel free. Somewhere life can just flow through you and wash over you.

32. You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac.

Click here to see Fleetwood Mac perform this song. (Note to my niece, Miriam: Yes, there is another woman in Fleetwood Mac besides Stevie Nicks. Her name is Christine McVie. :-))

This song was written for Christine McVie’s boyfriend back in the 1970s, but it could have easily been written for you, Spike.

Sweet wonderful you,
You make me happy with the things you do,
Oh, can it be so,
This feeling follows me wherever I go.

I never did believe in miracles,
But I've a feeling it's time to try.
I never did believe in the ways of magic,
But I'm beginning to wonder why.

I know things won’t always be easy—that there will be days when you can’t stand that I’m your mother and days when I am so frustrated with you that I cry—but I hope I will always remember what a miracle you are to me, baby girl. I love you so much and I haven’t even met you in person yet.

Isn't it Amazing How a Baby in Your Ribs Impairs Your Ability to Breathe?

(Here's a picture taken of me today, at almost 29 weeks. I'd look more pregnant, but the shirt is very baggy.)

Dear Spike,

Oh, baby doll. Right now one of your precious body parts is stuck in my rib cage area, and it's very uncomfortable. I missed the end of Daddy's baseball game last night because I just couldn't bear to sit on that stadium bench for a minute longer. I got home and got on my side, then the other, and tried to dislodge you. Then I drank a little caffeine this morning to try and pep you up so you would move. You moved, but not out of my rib cage! You are certainly stretching out, because I can feel the opposite end of your body pressing into my pelvis.

But you know what, Spike? Feeling you in my belly is still the most magical feeling I've ever known. Even when it interferes with my breathing.

I'd Write More, But I Need to Go to the Bathroom

When I was a kid, I never met a bathroom I didn't use. The running joke in our family was that I knew every bathroom in every place we went. I knew that my bladder would seem even smaller while I was pregnant. Wow. During the course of my day today at the office, I visited the bathroom eight times. That's once an hour. Wow. At night, I get up every other hour.

Now, I am drinking a lot of fluid. My doctor recommends at least 64 ounces of water a day. But heck, it seems like I am peeing more than 64 ounces! www.babycenter.com says:

Why do you suddenly need to go all the time? It's mostly because the amount of blood in your body increases dramatically when you get pregnant, which leads to a lot of extra fluid getting processed through your kidneys and ending up in your bladder. Eventually, you may also feel pressure on your bladder from your growing uterus.

You may notice that you need to get up to pee more often during the night in particular. That's because when you lie down, some of the fluid that you retained in your legs and feet during the day makes its way back into your bloodstream and eventually into your bladder.

A lot of times, Spike will kick me right in the bladder and I need to run to the bathroom immediately. It's pretty amusing--like she's playing a game with me. But the other kicks are very, very nice, so I'm willing to overlook the punches to the bladder.

Babycenter.com Update: Week 28

I went to the doctor today for my 28-week checkup. All is well. My glucose test came back normal, so no gestational diabetes. I'm gaining plenty of weight--like we thought that would be a problem! My blood pressure is good. The baby's heartbeat is strong. She's kicking like crazy! So all is well--just heartburn, leg cramps and sleep issues. I'll take 'em over worse stuff anyday!

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com:

How your baby's growing: By this week, your baby weighs a little over 2 pounds and measures about 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can open her eyes — which now sport lashes — and she'll turn her head toward a continuous, bright light from the outside. Her fat layers are beginning to form, too, as she gets ready for life outside the womb.

Songs for Spike, Part VII

28. Trouble Me by 10,000 Maniacs. When this song came out, I thought it would be appropriate for my grandmother, Bubby, who always keeps her emotions inside and never wants to burden anyone with them. (If you watch the video by clicking here, this thought is even more poignant. I'd never seen the video until a few minutes ago.) As I listen to the song now, I realize that it is really about my job as a mother.

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and your worries
Trouble me on the days when you feel spent
Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong?

I'll tell you something, Spike: Your grandmother, Poppy, has always been this person for me. I only hope I can do as good a job with you.

29. The Waiting by Tom Petty. Tom Petty says he wrote this in response to seeing Janis Joplin on television, talking about performing onstage, and how the waiting to go on was the hardest part. For me, the chorus is about my journey to find you, baby girl. (click here to watch the video).

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Plus, you can never go wrong with a Tom Petty song, right? You'll have to wait until number 31 for the third (and final) one.

Babycenter.com update: Week 27

I can't believe I'm getting ready to enter the third trimester--only 13 weeks to go and nine weeks before my last day of driving into the office! (Speaking of that, I really need to set time aside to clean out my office so people can actually find things while I'm out.)

This morning I looked at my reflection in the mirror and felt such joy. I just never thought I'd get to experience pregnancy, and now I'm nice and round and feeling kicks and I'm so thrilled. This is truly a miracle. With some help from science, of course...

Here's this week's update from www.babycenter.com. I have to say that I'm relieved to read that the baby's lungs would be capable of functioning (with assistance) if she were to be born prematurely. Of course, I am not advocating that, but it does give me some relief. And while I'm not feeling hiccups, I am feeling a lot of kicking!

As you'll read below, leg cramps are common, and they are definitely a part of my days and nights. And, predictably, my back aches. I made an appointment for a pregnancy massage on Friday after my glucose test at the hospital. Heck, I might as well pamper myself while I can, right? As much as I'm looking forward to Spike's arrival, I'm also cherishing days without diapers, the ability to just run into a store without it being a whole production, and naps on weekends.

How your baby's growing: This week your baby weighs almost 2 pounds and is about 14.4 inches long with his legs extended. He can now open and close his eyes, and he sleeps and wakes at regular intervals. He may suck his fingers, and although his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with assistance — if he were to be born prematurely. Chalk up any rhythmic movement you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and isn't bothersome to him, so enjoy the tickle. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. Wonder what he's thinking?

How your life's changing:
Your body is gearing up for the final lap, so you may start noticing some new symptoms. Along with an aching back, for example, you may find that your leg muscles cramp up now and then. They're carrying extra weight, after all. They may also be aggravated by sluggish circulation and compressed nerves caused by your growing uterus. (As your uterus expands, it puts pressure on the blood vessels that return blood from your legs to your heart and on the nerves leading from your trunk to your legs.) Unfortunately, the cramps are likely to get worse as your pregnancy progresses. Leg cramps are more common at night but can also happen during the day. When a cramp strikes, stretching the calf muscle (by straightening your leg and then gently flexing your toes back toward your shins) should give you some relief. Walking for a few minutes or massaging your calf sometimes helps, too.