How Times Have Changed

I came across an email that I sent to some of my friends after our first failed in-vitro procedure. It was very touching to read it and realize how far we've come since then:

June 27, 2006
Well, our attempt at in-vitro didn’t work. We got the news yesterday. I’m just so unbelievably sad. We don’t know what our next step will be, and right now I am really stuck in sadness. We need some time to let all of this sink in. I’m struggling with the fact that I had three little lives inside me and I just couldn’t help them live. P.C is, as usual, a terrific support even though I know he is in pain too. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Sorry to share this by email, but it is just too hard to talk today.

Back then, having one child was just a dream. And two wasn't even close to anything I could imagine. And now here we are. Rereading the email above was a reminder to continue to count my blessings every day.

Two-Year Checkup and Coming Full Circle

Today I took Megan for her two-year-old appointment. She's doing great--36 inches tall (97th percentile) and 29 pounds (77th percentile).

Today we also made the decision to release the embryos that we had sitting in frozen storage at the fertility clinic. We decided to donate them for research. I know it was the right thing to do--we weren't planning to use them, and it felt wasteful to just dispose of them. We could have given them to a couple who needed donor embryos, but it just didn't feel right to us to possibly have "children" out there somewhere. So we decided to donate them in the hopes that the research in which they will be used will make a difference somewhere in the medical world.

We went to the clinic and saw a physician's assistant and a nurse who had been there when we conceived Megan (the nurse is Patti--see this entry for more about the terrific staff at the clinic). They didn't know that we had Michael, so it was fun to tell them about that.

It felt strange to sign the papers, though. Like the fertility journey was over, and we were signing away the possibility of more children. And it was a little sad to think that we were finished with having kids. But it also felt right. A little sad, but right. So, little embryos, safe journey. May you bring hope to others through science...the same science that helped us conceive Megan and Michael. Our little miracles.

Long Time Gone...

It has been forever since my last post. Much happening!

Michael turned seven months old on July 26. He is sitting up really well. He is slowly getting the hang of playing by himself--all those months of his being held finally caught up with us. He is still hit-or-miss when it comes to sleeping through the night. He's waking up anywhere from 3-5:30 a.m., and if he wakes up after 4 it is really hard to get him back down. Of course, we need to be up at 5:30 on weekdays anyway, so I'd happily take that! Michael is a very smiley and happy baby, which is wonderful.

Megan turned two on August 2. She is an amazing kid. She is definitely testing her limits (and ours, too), but sometimes she is just so funny that I have to bite my lip so I don't laugh. her latest thing is calling me "Jill." She knows she should call me Mommy--she just can't help herself--and has to slip in a "Jill" and then giggle. I keep correcting her, but deep down I just love the fact that she's got a rebellious streak in her. I doubt I'll be saying that when she's 13!

This is a family photo of us from Megan's birthday.