This week, I've been feeling very vulnerable. I've been feeling teary, weary and cranky. I think the reasons for this are many:
1. I'm pregnant. Those hormones are in a crazy state of flux. Up until now, I've been feeling very calm. Now, the crazy hormones are kicking in!
2. Baseball season is drawing to a close. It's about this time each year that I begin to grow weary of P.C.'s schedule. As much as I love baseball and I love that he has a job that he adores, I get very, very tired of his work schedule by late May.
3. I'm tired. I get up at least six times a night to go to the bathroom. And no matter where I try to sleep--in bed or on the couch--it is hard to get comfortable. And taking the dog out for a 20-minute walk totally exhausts me.
4. I'm nervous. As much as I've always wanted to have a baby, that's about how much childbirth terrifies me. I know it will all be fine, but I am looking forward to our childbirth classes where a professional will tell me that very few people die during childbirth nowadays. And I'm also worried that something will be wrong with the baby--I won't feel satisfied with that until I can see her and hold her in my arms.
5. I'm busy. May is a very hectic time at work, and it is followed by more busyness before I leave at the end of July.
6. I'm loaded with tasks. This whole baby registry thing is important. I know that. It's also another item on my list that is pushing its way to the top--along with doctor's appointments, getting my car serviced, and getting a haircut.
7. Season finale of The Office tonight. I want more episodes, dammit! Thank goodness Project Runway should be starting in a couple of months. :-)
Okay, enough whining. There are many things to be grateful for:
1. So far, my pregnancy is progressing normally and I don't have anything unusual going on.
2. While my husband isn't home a lot, when he is home he is attentive and terrific.
3. I have a wonderful support system--both in L.A. and in Baltimore--that keeps me sane.
4. My dog loves to cuddle.
5. The feeling of my baby kicking (yes, even when she kicks me right in the bladder) is still the most magical thing I've ever felt.
6. This has been such a long journey--so what's a couple of months longer? I still wouldn't trade this time for anything in the whole world. Onward!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable- but I think you've already shown yourself you can handle anything and you just need to remember that. Everything is going to be just fine. Take one thing at a time and make a list! I find lists help me see exactly what I need to do. Right now though, while your hormones are all willy nilly, maybe make the things that will make you feel better a priority. Everyone feels good after a cute haircut, or watching their favorite show. And eat some chocolate. Spike needs chocolate.
Awww...sorry you are feeling down. I hope getting that all out was helpful. And I hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of The Office. Did you hear that the actress who plays Pam fell down the stairs at the NBC upfronts and broke some bones in her lower back? She's going to be OK, though. And there are going to be 30 episodes next season.
Making a registry doesn't really take that much time. We could do it after work on Monday if you want. I could go feed Pauley and we could meet at Babies R Us. LMK.
The best thing about childbirth class is that you realize that everyone else is just as afraid and nervous as you are and it's ok.
Unfortunately there will always be something to worry about in life and especially with a baby. I hear stories about sick kids and I wonder if something could be going with Siena that we don't know about yet. But you have to force these things out of your head. You can't control it, so don't let it control you. Just rejoice that all your news thus far as been good and there's no reason to think that everything is anything but fine. Kate's advice is good--chocolate always helps. Maybe a massage too! :)m
You are all so sweet! Thanks for your kindnesses!!!! xoxoxoxo
To my marathon friend...you can do this and at the end you will cry your eyes harder than you ever have before. Advice, when cooking? make extra and freeze for later, go out on dates, see movies, love on PC and Pauley now, they are 2nd & 3rd soon. Watch the last two episodes of the Sopranos!!! And of course get adjusted!!!
Post a Comment